


Remember What's Right

by allieporada



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brainwashing, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ill add as i go, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Multi, Slow Burn, angst lmao, gay angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24881959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allieporada/pseuds/allieporada
Summary: After the disastrous princess prom, Adora and the other members of the princess alliance risk their lives in the Fright Zone in order to save their comrades, Glimmer and Bow.To be able to save Glimmer from Shadow Weaver's clutches, Adora has to turn herself in to buy the alliance more time. Unfortunately, the rescue plan runs into a major issue: Adora getting her memory wiped.With Adora back as a force captain, Catra is back to being a cadet. Here and now, Catra begins to wonder what she really wants. Her position in the Horde, or Adora as She-Ra by her side?
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	1. Just like old times?

**Author's Note:**

> Here's an AU I've had in the back of mind for a year now dasffdgf

“Force Captain Catra, pack your things and return to your quarters.” Catra’s tail shoots up as Shadow Weaver sternly says without even meeting Catra’s eyes. The old sorceress’ fingers were playing with Adora’s messy hair while the girl was strapped to some metal device. Even with such authority in the woman’s voice, Catra could instantly feel Shadow Weaver’s unsettling joy to have Adora back in the Horde.

_And that she has no more use for Catra._

Anger came coursing through Catra’s veins as soon as she heard those words from the woman.

“What? After everything I’ve done for you, for the Horde, it’s still _her_ you want?” The former force captain grits her teeth out of pure anger. No, it’s definitely not just anger. It was a mix of sadness, anger, and _joy_. But even so, she flawlessly executed the mission in princess prom capturing two vital members of the rebellion, along with Adora who decided to play the hero once more. Despite that, Catra has no more use for Shadow Weaver because her star pupil is back.

“I’m certain you know the drill all too well. She was _destined_ to be the best force captain of the Horde,” Shadow Weaver chuckles silently to herself, “it’s only time she finally returns to fulfill it.” Adora struggles in her position, trying her hardest to squirm out of the restraints.

_Gee, not even a thank you?_ Catra bitterly thinks to herself, but not even slightly surprised. This is Shadow Weaver we’re talking about. Although the word _destined_ didn’t sit right with Catra but she didn’t know why. She just knows that it sounds wrong or at least _used_ wrong.

“Now go.”

Her eyes scan the room before stepping out of the chamber. She takes a quick glance at Shadow Weaver, then at Adora. Her eyes then scan the other prisoner present in the room, also trying to escape from the restraints.

Her eyes return to Adora who meets her gaze. She wanted to look away but subconsciously, she wants to understand too. Adora’s expression was so confusing because she looks mad, but sad. She looks so eager and proud, but scared.

Catra narrows her eyes one last time, and scurries out of the room, silently pushing the anger down her throat.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she could hear Adora screaming in pain, echoing in the now empty corridors of the Fright Zone. Her ears suddenly flattened on their own as she tries to shake off any emotion she feels towards the situation.

* * *

“Hey Adora”

A day has passed since that strange encounter. Catra is still in shock, accompanied with anger but she couldn’t bring herself to threaten the girl in front of her anymore. She stood tall and intimidating in a way, enough to bring chills down the cat girl’s spine.

“Hello, cadet. You are not allowed to roam outside your quarters at this hour.” Adora says in a monotonous voice, almost like a robot.

“Ugh, I hate to admit it, but at least you leaving me for your sparkly friends were more interesting than _this_.” Catra smirks, subconsciously hoping Adora would just drop the act and giggle at her statement. Instead, she narrows her eyes at the cat girl.

“ Oh, c’mon! I can’t believe Shadow Weaver replaced me for you. At least I was more fun.” Catra bites back her smirk and growls at the force captain.

“I’m warning you, cadet. That is not how you talk to your force captain.” Adora says with such authority.

The brunette furrows her brows, looking into Adora’s now empty gaze. To think that only yesterday, it was filled with all kinds of emotions. Now there she stands before her with no fear in her eyes and not even a single shine of hope. Her eyes were still blue, but they look like the deep sea, suffocating Catra with a single look.

“Gee, I couldn’t care less. I’ve learned something you can never do. No one listens to you unless you shove it into their faces. Trust me, _princess_."

Her fur suddenly rises as she felt the cold air swallow the corridor. Shadow Weaver floated eerily behind Catra followed by an uncomfortable atmosphere. As if the tension between the two wasn’t even enough to scare Catra on her tail.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Catra. I thought Force Captain Adora would’ve handled you by now, but clearly some things never change." Adora’s stance straightened at the presence of their second in command especially now that disappointment was lurking in the shadows surrounding them.

“I apologize, Shadow Weaver. I will see to it that it will not happen again.” Adora then proceeds to bow before the sorceress, and it was a sickening sight for Catra. She always knew that Adora was dumb and will follow orders, but she wouldn’t praise Shadow Weaver like that. It really was terrifying.

Shadow Weaver nods, and Adora grabs Catra by the arm and escorts her back to her quarters. Something about Adora’s grip was so warm and soft, contrasting her new intimidating façade. It’s been so long since they last peacefully touched each other, Catra thinks to herself. Shadow Weaver was right about one thing: _some things never change_.

Adora gently opens the door to their old room, with Catra’s arm in hand. It somehow feels… familiar to her, like a song lyric stuck in her head but can’t quite remember which song it was from. She wants to stay longer but she doesn’t know why. Even if she did know why, it still feels right for her to stay longer.

“What are you still doing here?” Catra says as she sits down on Adora’s old bed. Instead of anger, she longs for Adora even more than she ever did, because she fears the possibility she’ll lose Adora forever. She can’t show that now, because it’ll make her look weak. In her opinion, that is.

“Cadet, please be more careful next time. Shadow Weaver is capable of many things.” Adora says in her monotonous voice once more, but this time there was a slight shift in her tone indicating she still cares. Catra hopes she still does. However, something was burning her inside.

“Oh, you think I didn’t know that? Wow, even if she made you ‘better’, you’re still so fucking dumb.” Catra snares as she shoots up to face Adora. But the force captain doesn’t flinch. She just stands there unmoved. She lowers her head even more to meet Catra’s burning gaze, so full of anger and hurt.

“I warned you once, cadet. I will not repeat myself again.” She says as she narrows her eyes. Catra expected worse, but instead she sees Adora’s blue eyes staring into her soul. The look of disappointment on Adora’s face was so unsettling, she wanted to turn around and never face her again but she knows deep down she can’t do that, even if she deserves the worst.

Catra lowers her head in defeat. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, expecting a hug to come from her former best friend just like old times. But instead, she opens her eyes to the sound of the door open, only to see that Adora has already left the premises.

Maybe some things do change.


	2. Push It Away

Ever since Adora’s return, Catra has been nothing but a joke to the other cadets. They laugh at her wherever her paws take her and it’s not like she can scream at them again like she used to when she had her badge. She realizes it now that she was always going to be a second option. If Adora hadn’t left, Catra would’ve never felt the sweet taste of being a force captain. She was so close to overthrowing Shadow Weaver too, but it doesn’t look relevant anymore.

She should’ve known better, she tells herself. She was only a tool for everyone else around her. Shadow Weaver, Hordak, possibly Scorpia and worst of all: Adora. She tries to hold onto every memory she has of their childhood but they just seem so blurry for her. She isn’t even the one who got her memory wiped, and that’s saying something. Those happy memories she had with her ex-best friend seem so irrelevant too, knowing Adora doesn’t recall a single thing. She only has this empty shell of a force captain to call Adora.

She thinks silently to herself knowing all too well she can’t trust anyone in the Horde anymore. Not even Adora because there’s a high possibility she’ll rat Catra out. Sigh, quite the irony. She brushes off those feelings of sadness and longing and tries her best to replace it with all the anger she’s got. Unfortunately, it seems Adora has taken her anger too. At this point, she doesn’t even know if she should hold onto that anger or not. She doesn’t even know what’s right, or what’s wrong.

Catra also tries her best not to care about the Horde anymore, but she just feels lost. The feeling of having some kind of purpose by her own hand was so addicting to the point that she wants more of it. Right now though, she has no idea if she even has a purpose anymore. Sure, she can shout at other cadets who are just enjoying themselves but she knows now that she’ll just get sent back to Shadow Weaver the moment she raises her voice.

Suddenly, she recalls the overwhelming triumph she felt when she finally scratched the mask off that old hag’s face. It still feels so accomplishing, still sending those shivers down her spine. In that moment, she proved to everyone in the room, including herself, that she is capable of so many things. She wanted to do it again and again for herself.

_And for Adora too._

She growls to herself because she was allowing those emotions get into her head. It’s only a matter of time before those same emotions find their way to her heart too. Or do these emotions come from the heart? Catra isn’t quite sure herself.

“Cadet, get down from there.” Catra’s train of thought was suddenly interrupted when a familiar voice was shouting at her from down below. It was her ex-best friend Adora coming to enter her life again. Her heart was pounding louder and louder in her chest and she doesn’t understand why. Is she nervous? Mad, sad or jealous? 

“Did you not hear me, cadet?” Adora asks in a deadpan manner. As usual, it was absolutely sickening for Catra. She proceeds to jump down from their old hangout place that doesn’t seem to mean anything to Adora anymore and lands in front of the same girl she thought she knew.

“I thought you wanted me to be careful, princess. I’m doing you a favor by staying out of trouble and your way. Why do you follow me around anyway? You’re a force captain now, not a stalker! Not even a hero.” Catra tries to lash out on her ex-best friend but her voice cracks in a way only the people closest to her would understand. Sadly though, she is certain Adora is very far away from her now.

“Catra! Shadow Weaver is going to kill you if she spots you-“

“I don’t care! I already know what’s going to happen, okay? She already took everything away from me, might as well take my life too.”

They pause while Catra’s glance falls onto the floor.

They pause.

_They pause._

“Wait, did you just call me Catra?” Her realization hit her harder than she ever expected. All those thoughts, and all those memories she thought were irrelevant, do they still matter?

“Cadet..”

“You know what? Forget it.” Catra turns away and goes back inside, leaving Adora to question herself.

* * *

“It’s been days already! We should’ve gone back for them!” Bow cries out to the other princesses in front of him, begging them to come with him to save his two best friends along with Entrapta.

“Hey, do you not remember what happened back there? Entrapta… she’s gone!” Mermista was getting tired of Bow nagging them day after day. Although she feels the guilt sting her in the deepest regions of her heart, she still refuses to go back there to lose another one of them.

“But how about Adora and Glimmer? They could still be saved! Don’t you think so, Perfuma?” The boy turns his head to face Perfuma who was already struggling to keep things calm. She hesitates for a bit, knowing that Mermista’s instincts are right, but so are Bow’s.

“I… I don’t know. I already failed trying to keep an eye on Entrapta. I don’t want to go through that again with one of you.” Perfuma says as she purposely avoids eye contact, fidgeting with her own hair.

The boy was saddened by his very own alliance. His head drops for what seems the hundredth time, groaning because it didn’t feel right that he was just sitting there not doing anything to save his best friends. Without lifting his head, he says, “Alright. If you’re not coming with me, then I’ll save them myself.” Perfuma and Mermista exchange looks, then they turn towards Seahawk who was leaning against the wall just behind them and they all give a slight nod in unison.

Perfuma turns back to see Bow, still sitting down with his head dropped, and furrows her brows as she gives out a sad smile. “We can save them, we just need a plan. I know Adora is usually the one making the plans, but we have you too. No princess left behind again.” The girl says as she gently puts her hands on the tech master’s shoulder.

Bow lifts his head up, eyes sparkling like it usually does, and says, “No princess left behind again.”

* * *

Adora froze into position, only eyes following the cadet in front of her as she leaves the site. She couldn’t help but wonder why that cadet in particular seems so familiar. Yeah, she’s seen her around. That cadet’s been slacking off and just sits down in front of windows most of the time. But that doesn’t seem right, deep inside she knows there’s something more to it.

She doesn’t know what it is, but something inside her is telling her that cadet’s something else. It’s like there’s this gravitational pull between them and she just couldn’t fight against it because somehow she feels _connected_ to this cadet, even if she has a vague understanding of her.

More and more thoughts come rushing in her head, and she tries to push these thoughts away because she knows it’ll cause distractions. She doesn’t succeed, and so these thoughts increase the more she tries.

_There has to be another way,_ Adora says to herself as she finally pushes to walk towards the black garnet chamber.


	3. Force Captain ex-princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huhu underrated character dynamics skdhsk

It was an unusually calm day for the young cadet. In fact, it was so unusual that it started bothering her. Catra could see that the Horde is still advancing the way she intended when she was the one in charge, filling her insides with glee even she herself won’t notice. She could see how her fellow cadets are more orderly and less distracted, and that production of machinery and weapons have increased tenfold. Even if these small things could make the cat happy, she isn’t satisfied. 

The further she looked into things, the more she began to doubt. Perhaps these things aren’t quite her doing. Yes, it’s true that she started this big push in the Horde, but she actually doubted that the place would even manage to stand when she finally left the ranks. Hmm, maybe that’s why Catra subconsciously tried to stop caring for the Horde. Maybe if she finally did stop, this hell would finally freeze over. Well then, perhaps she overestimated herself this time.

There she was again, sitting on that place Adora and she used to love. Part of her says she still loves this spot, but Catra wasn’t allowing herself to accept defeat that easily. She wants to let go of Adora, she thinks. It’s been days since her ex-best friend’s return, but it still doesn’t feel like home. Sure, the Horde never felt like home to begin with but at least Adora was by her side. Unfortunately for her, the blonde’s probably off somewhere doing force captain duties never to return by her side again.

“Wildcat!” Catra yelps at the sudden voice lingering behind her. She expected something more… Adora-like, because of how stalkerish Adora has become the past few days. Her tail was still wiggling furiously even when she finally turned around to see who interrupted her silent pondering. “Ugh, it’s you.”

Catra doesn’t get it. Even if her badge was stripped away, Scorpia still chose to hang out with her. What use does she have? Scorpia doesn’t need her. She doesn’t think she needs her either. “Hey, wildcat. You’ve been awfully quiet lately. I was getting so worried!” Scorpia says in a way only Scorpia could say, so chirpy yet so soft.

“…” 

The smaller girl just doesn’t say anything. She just turns around and proceeds to hug her knees while her own tail wraps around her. The silence fills the air, but she could still feel that Scorpia was still standing behind her.

In the midst of the silence, Catra’s cat-like features twitch at the unsettling awkwardness and tension. She still refuses to trust anyone other than herself, let alone Scorpia, someone who isn’t that good of a secretive person. After everything they’ve been through, they’ll never truly understand each other. 

After a few minutes of the solid silence between the two, Catra’s ears start to twitch when Scorpia started to approach the smaller girl in once again, such a Scorpia way. Her steps were so strong, but so clumsy at the same time. Sigh, Catra will never understand Scorpia.

When Scorpia finally managed to approach Catra at a safe distance, she starts, “I don’t know what’s been going on with you, wildcat,” Scorpia pauses for a second as she sucks in a deep breath, “but you don’t have to pretend that you’re okay. You can tell me everything that’s on your mind,”

Scorpia pauses once again,

“ _ or nothing, if you prefer. _ ”

Catra’s ears shoot up the moment those words reached her. The way Scorpia phrased her words was so warming and she doesn’t know why. Maybe because Scorpia was so accepting, or maybe because she was given a choice of her own. Maybe it’s both. She hardly had any time to decide for herself and to think about what she truly wanted. She starts to recall those small moments in her life when she was forced to make a choice on the spot. Like when Adora urged Catra to join her back in the rebellion, or when…

_ She turned her back on Adora. _

Her eyes then fall when she realized that she had plenty of time to decide for herself, but she chose the ones that she never really wanted. She chose those over Adora. 

_ But now it’s too late, she lost her too. _

“Well Scorpia, you already know what I prefer… but thanks.”

“No problem wildcat. I’m here.” 

Catra cracks a small smile underneath her own tight embrace on her knees. “Is the Horde really the place you want to be in?”

Scorpia was startled by the smaller girl’s question, and lets out a small nervous chuckle. “Well, like I said, I don’t really fit in with the other princesses. I don’t really have any other choice either so I have to stay even if I don’t have any other friends here besides you.”

The smaller girl ponders for a second. Scorpia’s a princess but was turned into a horde soldier, while Adora was a horde soldier who turned into a princess. She laughs for a bit at the funny concept, but the longer the thought stays, the more she realizes that there’s still a chance. 

“Hey, you’re already acting all princess-like in here. I bet you’d fit right in there.” Catra says in a joking manner when in reality her words are sincere.

“You really think so?” Scorpia says as her eyes twinkle despite the Horde’s atmosphere, filling Catra with a bit of warmth in her heart.

“Yeah, I-“

“Oh shoot! I’m late for force captain orientation! Catch you later, wildcat.” Scorpia cuts Catra’s words, and before she even realized it, she’s all on her own once again.

* * *

Brightmoon was in such a state of worry with everyone nervous around each other. They lost three vital members of the rebellion, and they can’t risk losing their queen as well. “Your Majesty, if I may, the remaining members of the princess alliance ask for your guidance. We’re going to attempt a rescue mission.” Bow tells the queen, with fear and paranoia lingering on the tips of his words. The risk is far too great but it’s a chance he’s willing to take for his friends and the rebellion.

“You are going back there?” Angella slowly looks at Bow standing before her throne, his armor reflecting the early morning sunrise. Worry starts to rise in the queen but there are not enough words to express what she truly feels especially when it’s been days since she last saw her only daughter. She could only sigh and close her eyes for a minute, but the tech-master seems to understand what she feels. Losing Glimmer took a huge toll on the both of them, and pretty sure it’ll take another on the whole kingdom once word gets out.

“No. I know how much they matter to you, and you know how much you all matter to me. I will not lose any of you again.” Angella gets up from her throne, looking down on Bow. Her voice was soft and angelic, but traces of her fear latch on tighter and tighter. But she is the queen, and she shouldn’t let her fear show.

“But Your Majesty, there is no other way! We’re wasting so much time.” As much as Bow tries to avoid conflict and confrontation, doing nothing will not bring his friends back. It is very much aching for Bow to see their queen worry as much as the civilians do, and he wants to solve it fast. However he knows that the only way he can do that is to take matters in his own hands. He was a pretty good fighter on his own and he doesn’t want this miss this opportunity to fight for his friends.

“Hordak’s conditions were very clear. If I surrender myself, they will release Glimmer and bring her back safely,” she starts to walk down the stairs originating from her throne, “they’ll be back here with you and the rest of the rebellion; there you will resume your duties.” As she finished her sentence, she arrived just a safe distance face to face with the tech master. The sorrow seeps through the crack of her voice, and nothing else. No doubt that the queen is as fragile as everyone else around her, even Bow. “Please take care of my girl when I’m gone, Bow.”

“No, Queen Angella! We can’t risk it. We’re not sure if they’re true to their word. I mean, look! They’re notorious for brainwashing their soldiers into thinking that we’re the destroyers of the land. The moment you surrender yourself, everyone, including Glimmer, will fall right underneath their fingertips!” There it goes. All those mixed-emotions, anger, guilt; sadness, grief, and everything in between came bursting in the form of words. “Your Majesty, please allow us this rescue mission. If we fail, we will try again and again until we succeed.”

Not a second has passed and without hesitation, Angella replies, “All right. I put all faith in you and the other princesses. I know you can bring them back. Just take care of each other, is that clear?” 

The tech master standing before her cracks a small smile and it took a moment for the words to finally sink in with him. With a glint of hope he says, “Yes Your Majesty. Thank you.”

* * *

Catra was still sitting on their little perch hours after Scorpia left their warm interaction. She barely even noticed such time has passed. She’s still lost in her own thoughts pulling her in every direction tearing her own. But thanks to Scorpia, she’s waking up little by little. She now knows that she never really wanted glory nor fame, but what she doesn’t know is what she wanted instead of that. There’s something.  _ Adora _ . But something more.

After a few hours, Scorpia finally returns to Catra’s perch. 

“You’re back already?” Catra says without turning around to face Scorpia. Her tail and ears were still twitching and fidgeting by her sides, and it was unclear if she was excited or she was bothered.

“Yeah,” Scorpia was huffing and puffing, presumably from running, “Shadow Weaver wants to see you, wildcat.” 

Her tail stops twirling about and stays in place. “What?”

She immediately left, but ever so quietly like an actual cat. Her feet basically hovered over the quietness, and it seems that she was being careful, not even taking a moment to wave goodbye to the other force captain.

Catra quietly sneaked around towards the black garnet chamber. She was very uncertain how the conversation was going to go. Shadow Weaver had little to no love for Catra, and she doesn’t know if she’ll get zapped or get yelled at. She’s not scared anymore because she’s learned to fight for herself and recently she also learned to be careful around her environment. 

And so, she’s not ready to enter just yet. But thanks to her cat-like hearing, she could overhear another familiar voice in the black room chamber. She stays a bit longer at the side of the entrance, making sure she doesn’t make any noise so she wouldn’t get noticed.

“Why is she still here? She’ll only distract and bring you down, force captain. Get rid of her now.” Catra could only assume that old hag’s talking about her. Who else would it be?

“But Shadow Weaver, we don’t have to get rid of her. She hasn’t been causing trouble. Besides, I’ve enhanced everything else in the Horde so you didn’t have to get rid of her.” 

“Oh but Adora, she’ll be jealous. She… isn’t like other horde soldiers. The moment you show her any weakness, she’ll use it against you because she knows you are destined to be the greatest force captain in the history of the horde.”

Catra heard Adora screeching in pain for a solid minute as red light flashes out from the room.

“Then I won’t let her.”

Catra’s eyes widen. Adora’s voice was suddenly so different. It was more emotionless, and less like Adora. More scary and unsettling. 

Then it clicks.

She knew there was something fishy going around here. The cadets might be orderly, but they were cowering in fear. The cat had to be blind if she missed that tiny but obvious detail. The production of machinery and weapons increasing tenfold, who knows what materials were used? The Horde barely had enough materials for their own armor.

It all connects.

Adora’s behind it all.

  
  



	4. Not My Adora

A morning for junior cadets isn’t quite perfect, but the fun they make for themselves is more than enough. Sneaking in ration bars, and goofing off with other cadets. Even pulling pranks on the senior cadets and the force captains! Never did any of them ever think that one of them was going to be the best force captain in the ranks of the citadel.

Catra could see Adora snoozing off on her bed with a small smile on her face. The life of a junior cadet was fun especially when Adora’s right there beside her, of course disregarding Shadow Weaver. She could also see other cadets laughing with each other at the other end of the room while she occupies the space just below her best friend’s legs. It was nice seeing her relax especially when she isn’t fighting ghosts in her sleep. It was undeniably funny to watch, but it’s nice to see her cutely snoozing for a change.

She looks at the opposite side of the room while her tail hovers just above the sleeping girl. Everyone looked so happy and you can’t spot a single drop of fear in their eyes. They glistened under the dim green lighting in the room, and Catra can’t deny that they have a place in her unseemingly soft heart so she shows a small smile just like the girl beside her.

Speaking of which, her attention drags back to Adora. Even the way she snores was cute. Well, kind of messy but still cute. The warmth radiated and filled the field in Catra’s heart, and she wishes it would stay like this forever. Even if the Horde is such a horrible place, at least she has Adora.

Or maybe the Horde has Adora.

Catra wakes up in Adora’s old bed wishing she’d wake up next to her. Sadly, that was just merely remnants of her memories forming a dream and boy, how she wishes she could dream forever. She takes a glance at the child-like drawing at the side of the bed, complete with her scratches from before. She feels regret down her throat as she stares at it for minutes then proceeds to place her hand to feel how deep the damage was. She knows she lost Adora, but never in a million years did she think she would lose her to the Horde itself.

She gets up, stretches her limbs, and proceeds to scan the room. She could see that she was the only one awake in the room where she could hear Lonnie and the others snoring. Usually by this hour she’d be up in her perch with Adora admiring the sunrise, but now she doubts she’ll ever get that chance again. She sighs, and quietly exits the room, not even bothering to change out of her pajamas.

She expected surveillance bots to greet her the moment her foot steps out of the room, but no. The corridors were empty and you could only see the dirt on the dusty floor and hear the low whistles of the wind. Hearing how eerily quiet everything was, she started to feel… lonely. Junior cadets sneaking around are nowhere to be seen, not even a single noise. Well, one noise.

She could hear Adora talking inaudibly from a far distance, so she decided to trust her hearing and go into that direction. Her tail was flying all around her, clearly a sign of anxiousness and worry. She was on all fours like an elegant cat, silently hovering her feet off the ground one step at a time.

When she could finally hear what Adora was trying to say, she got up on her two feet and leaned against the wall. Man, she realized she’s been doing this a lot lately. Well, that’s just how it is when your so-called-home doesn’t feel like home at all.

“If you see anyone outside of their quarters, throw them out. If you dare hesitate, I’ll throw them out myself, including you.”

Adora’s grip on the citadel was tighter than ever. Wow, who put her in charge? Eh, she basically did herself.

The cadets are now filled with fear under the force captain’s presence. Even the higher ranks wouldn’t dare look in her eyes. Catra could only assume that they’re drifting apart little by little, losing her into nothing but her own empty mind, not even a single memory seeing the light.

Her ex-best friend was now standing high and mighty with only a badge to hold that honor as she dismisses the frightened cadets. She could only remember how she snoozes in her sleep, and now she wonders if she still snores the same way she used to when she had memories to hold onto.

Wait…

If Adora doesn’t remember anything before she became a force captain…

Then does she understand that this is all wrong?

“Hey, Adora.” Catra shyly staggers in front of the force captain, and was still quite doozy from waking up so early in the morning. She couldn’t help but look at her the way Adora used to when they were friends. She never really understood what she meant when she gives Catra that look, but she does know that it feels calming and warm whenever she meets that type of gaze.

This new Adora was a tougher nut to crack, because she looks so dead, like she drowned in her own ocean eyes. Her hopeful gaze was nowhere to be seen, and it stings Catra’s heart. What was she supposed to expect anyway? This was definitely like a whole new Adora, but she was still subconsciously hoping Adora would finally break free from this curse and wake up to see that Catra’s still there beside her. Unfortunately enough, the only thing beside Adora right now are her clenched fists, ready to strike when needed be.

Catra could sense the annoyance in Adora’s stance as she clenches her fists even tighter and narrows her eyes. It was like looking into a mirror, and she hates it. Is that how she used to act? Is that how the Horde changes people with its power? Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Since when did Adora crave for power like Catra used to?

“Cadet, what are you doing here?” Catra expected something along the lines of “I’ll throw you out myself” so her eyes quickly shut close but it never came. When she slowly opened her eyes, Adora was still standing there in front of her with clenched fists. Maybe it wasn’t power she craved. Maybe it was just silence and freedom.

“I- I don’t know. I was just curious, I guess.” Guards were standing idly behind the two cowering in fear. Truth is, they’re still afraid of Catra but they seem to fear Adora even more by the way they shake in their combat boots.

Here, Catra starts to witness Adora break little by little and it pains her heart. She just wants to hug Adora until they’re okay or at least share a good laugh. By the looks of it, it looks impossible with the million worlds between the two. _Could it be my fault? If I didn’t go and kidnap Sparkles, would things be normal?_

She looks intently into Adora’s eyes as she forces herself to accept that this is the reality, and that this is normal except it isn’t normal because now she doesn’t have someone to call home. Even on their worst fights and misunderstanding, the distance between them, Adora will always be Catra’s home.

Adora suddenly breaks the silence and lets out a low growl to warn Catra. The feline immediately looks away from the nerving glance the force captain is currently giving her, and she could see that Adora begins to let out a cocky smirk at the side of her eye. “Well, cadet. Curiosity kills the cat.”

Catra bites back her nervousness and pushes herself to look Adora in the eye once again under the dim lighting. Her tail was moving all over the place while her fur was standing on its own edge. She shivers on the cold metal floor and she could feel her toes sink in.

This isn’t her Adora. This isn’t her home.

“Ugh just kill me now. After all, I bring you down.”

_Just kill me now so I don’t have to see you like this._

“No. I heard you’re very valuable to the Horde. I need you here.” Adora’s smirk was still on her face even when Catra bit back her remarks. This only proved Catra’s point even more, the way Adora talks and moves is clearly ever so evident that this isn’t her Adora. However, it seems as a little part of her is still there: only needing when deemed necessary, but not quite wanting for herself.

Catra’s fur rises above its limits as Adora cups her face and pulls her in closer. Close enough for Catra to smell how different Adora has become the past few days. This nightmare of hers becomes harder to escape and it’s beginning to scare her rather than it plainly disgusts her. She could feel and hear Adora’s ragged breathing, as if she was dying slowly inside. Her smirk was still there and she wanted to scratch it out. But she knows if she were to hurt the force captain, things would take a devastating turn for the both of them. Well, it’s not like Catra wants to hurt her ex-best friend in the first place.

“Wha-,” Catra stutters in defeat and as much as she wants to squirm out of Adora’s grip, she freezes, “What are you going to do to me?” Her fear was starting to seap through her words and all she could do was ask about her fate.

Adora glances back at the guards surrounding them, and she raises her free hand. On cue, the guards lower their stun batons and stand straight despite their shaky limbs. “It’s not what we’re going to do to you,” she turns to face Catra again while that stupid smirk widens. The feline managed to squirm out of Adora’s tight grip, leaving an aching feeling on her cheeks and jaw. She sweats nervously, but tries her best to keep her composure just in case the force captain has something else in her sleeve.

She glances at the guards and thinks to herself that there is no place for fun anymore. Her Adora wouldn’t get rid of the fun. So why is she doing this? Willingly?

“What?” Catra stutters nervously as Adora shows a sickly grin, something she'd never see on her Adora's face

“It’s what you’re going to do for us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter! Sorry if you've been waiting for an update huhu I'll make it up to you guyz


	5. The Ghost of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in like 4 in the morning and even I don't understand the words I just vomited but hey! Catra's conflicted like she always is hasuidsadhs at least this time???

If only Catra could distract herself, she would. She’s lost in her own mind filled with doubts and worry and yet she could only give nods in response whenever someone catches her attention. She could lash out any time she wanted, scream at other cadets so she could finally stop bottling up her feelings but looks like her heart rejects these feelings of anger and hate, and instead yearns for affection and love. Who cares if other people won’t validate her? She has Adora! Er, some version of the girl.

  
  


Catra’s feet stomps on the cold metal floor like another normal day. Her sharp toenails dig into the material implying discomfort inside out. To save her skin, she’s required to follow direct orders from Force Captain Adora whether it be against her morals or not. At the thought of it though, it seems plainly obvious she’d rather die right then and there than see what they have in store for the Rebellion. Even the title ‘force captain’ doesn’t sound right when placed before Adora’s name, and that’s not even out of jealousy.

  
  


“Cadet.” Catra jumps at the sudden noise behind her. Well, speak of the devil. There she was, standing behind her with proper posture not showing any weakness complete with her arms tucked behind her back. The feline would say she knows her every weakness, pet peeves and all, but this was an entirely different Adora as established not so long ago. Even the way she walks changed, coincidentally quiet like a cat that despite Catra’s hearing she was unable to hear it coming.  _ God, how much did Shadow Weaver erase?  _

  
  


“Uh, yes Ad- I mean Force Captain Adora?”  _ Cringe. _

  
  


“I heard about your exemplary work at Princess Prom,” Adora starts with that smirk again, “Capturing the master archer and the Queen’s daughter,” she starts to caress Catra’s cheek, “great job, but the other vicious princesses managed to rescue the archer.” To the feline’s surprise, Adora suddenly drops the smirk as her breath starts hitching the more her hand stays on Catra’s fur. She wants to tease her about it and point it out, but it doesn't look like the right time. Maybe the right time will never come judging by where this interaction is going.

  
  


Puzzled was the only thing painted across the feline’s face. Adora’s touch was familiar and warm to the point that she wanted to lean into it, but she knows this is wrong. Shadow Weaver wouldn’t tell her those details, right? That old hag wouldn’t care enough to bring it up. Speaking of Shadow Weaver, she’s noticing the similarities between the two and it will never cease to make Catra uncomfortable.

  
  


_ What do you mean heard? You were literally right there  _ was what Catra wanted to say. She just couldn’t bring herself to. Even if it seems far from possible, she fears that it’ll bring painful memories for the both of them. She doesn’t want to be remembered as the one who broke Adora’s heart by kidnapping her “friends”. But then again, Adora broke her heart first. She doesn’t know what’s more painful anymore: to be remembered as the one who broke her best friend’s heart or the one experiencing the heartbreak.

  
  


“So, what do you want me to do?” was the only thing the feline could blurt out. She breaks yet another nervous sweat under Adora’s touch which is now fidgeting with Catra’s hair tuffs. Seems a little touchy, don’t you think? A bit too familiar too...

  
  


Before Catra could slap Adora’s hand away, she quickly withdraws it and tucks it behind her back as she turns around. The back of her head now facing Catra, she says, “Kill the princess. That’s what they’ll get for disobeying Lord Hordak’s wishes. Do it quick.” She then walks forward, no regret in her posture or tone whatsoever. Despite not being visible to Catra’s eyes, she could already tell Adora was trying to rid herself of her own memories. Why?

  
  


Catra utters “what?” under her breath as her ears flatten along with an eye-widened expression. The ghost of Adora’s touch still lingers, and she just freezes in a pool of her own questions.

* * *

“Here’s the plan,” Bow says he starts to sift through Adora’s old notes tucked away under her bed, “Adora’s the only one who knows the layout of the Horde out of all of us, so we just have to depend on her old map.” He raises his hand slightly to avert everyone’s eyes on the map in his grip. “This is going to be tougher than any mission we’ve ever done but I’m sure we can do this.”

  
  


He places the map on the floor and proceeds to get the other figurines he made of the princesses. One for Perfuma, one for Mermista and there’s even one for Seahawk! They’re cute, but that isn’t the point right now. 

  
  


“We’re going to go to the same route you guys used before when you tried rescuing us. I’m sure it would’ve worked if none of you were sidetracked.” He said without taking a moment to glance at the princesses, but he knows they know what he meant by sidetracked.

  
  


“Exactly, but without Adora and Entrapta, I doubt this plan would actually work.” Mermista says in an irked tone, groaning as she leans further into the bean bag.

  
  
  


“We’ll improvise!” Bow says in his usual optimistic tone hoping it would convince the others to think a bit more positively. Instead, he received annoyed looks from his companions. He pouts at the sudden loss of hope but immediately shakes it off. “Look, we used to improvise and so far it always worked out for the three of us! Just please trust me on this. We’re doing this for our friends” He was looking at the princesses with worry and desperation, waiting for a word to come out of their mouths.

  
  


“Alright, you heard the boy.” Seahawk suddenly appears beside Bow, wrapping his arm over his shoulders. “We were so close last time. But this adventure isn’t over ye-“ Mermista suddenly interrupts, “Yeah, we get it SeaPain. So I’m thinking you’ll be Entrapta?” Bow eyes lights up, maybe he was taking that as a compliment. At the same time though, he doesn’t want to completely replace her. A successor perhaps? He thinks to himself.

  
  


“Yes, and this time Perfuma comes with Seahawk. Mermista, I’m sorry but you’re going through the sewers again exactly how you described it.” Bow laughs restlessly, expecting a complaint.

  
  


“Ugh! Fiiiiine, just don’t let him near me.” She points to Seahawk. He scoffs in a sassy offended way but doesn’t object.

  
  


“Well, Mermista went with Entrapta for the first half. Can you handle yourself, Bow?” Perfuma asked with worry behind her words, moving anxiously in place. Everyone in the room also picked up on the guilt she was feeling. Even Bow was surprised that Perfuma finally spoke. She's been awfully quiet since the last meeting. Their words halt, thinking of a way to reassure the girl.

  
  


“Don’t worry, Perfuma. I can defend myself so you just have to focus on your part of the mission. Some things just need a bit of improvising. Entrapta would’ve wanted us to continue. Just think of it as a happy ghost cheering us on!” Bow smiles intently at Perfuma and it restored hope in her heavy heart, and makes an attempt to smile too in response. 

* * *

Catra tiredly walked into the black garnet chamber, making sure no one else was inside. She can’t trust anyone right now, even if these were direct orders from the ferocious force captain. The moment she walked in, the door suddenly closed behind her. She just stands in front of the closed door for a few minutes, scanning her surroundings until she finally looks at the princess in lightning restraints. She scoffs when she detects pain in the princess’ yelp, thinking she’s lucky enough she’s only in restraints. She takes a deep breath, pushing down all those disturbing childhood memories, and starts to walk towards the princess.

  
  


“Hello, sparkles.” Catra says in a stale manner without a trace of mockery. She was too tired to be intimidating, and she knows it won’t do her any good anymore. Not when that perfect force captain’s behind all the consequences.

  
  


Glimmer raises her head slightly, purposely lessening the pain as much as she can. Even under all the pain, she still managed to show anger. “Hello, horde scum.”

  
  


“Woah, feisty there, aren’t we?” Catra sighs as she looks at Glimmer with tired eyes, folding her arms. When those eyes met the princess’, her anger turned soft.

  
  


“So, what are you doing here? I thought you were there with Adora, drinking shots or something celebrating your selfishness” Glimmer says in a salty tone, and Catra found that amusing. Despite the pain upon her, she still managed to spit out something that would trigger the feline. Perhaps they aren’t so different after all.

  
  


“Ha, I don’t think cats drink, sparkles. Besides, Adora’s busy right now.” Catra wants to admit that she misses her Adora, but she doesn’t want to swap pleasantries with the person who stole her away from her. If it weren’t for this princess, Adora wouldn’t be in this mess. If it weren’t for her, they could’ve been perfectly happy with each other. But well, she’s a selfish one, isn’t she?

  
  


“So? Nng,” Glimmer groans at the growing pain, “What now?”

  
  


Catra pauses for a minute, letting her arms fall down at the sides. She thinks and analyzes the possibilities and the consequences that come along with it. She scans Glimmer who was groaning in a series of unpredictable pain and agony, and her eyes grew even more tired. She remembered that this is what Adora needs her to do, and if she were to disobey she’ll be sent straight to Shadow Weaver.

  
  


_ No one deserves to go through Shadow Weaver’s tortures. _

  
  


_ And plus, if she were to kill Glimmer, she’ll break even more hearts. Her old Adora would be devastated and would never forgive her.  _

  
  


“Well sparkles, you’re coming with me.”

  
  


And as the moment she starts to approach the princess in pain, a familiar silhouette stands by the door once it opens.

  
  


“ _ Wait, Scorpia I can explain… _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAHHH thanks for reading this chapter! I finally have a direction for this fic and I just have to worry about my poor writing skills usfhusiadfs

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter! If you want an spop twt mutual, my username is @justallieeee  
> I'll be active there! Oh and I draw mainly spop fdfdsfds


End file.
